Tuesday, June 8, 2010

People are people all over the world.

It's true. Cultures are beautiful. God fashions people with incredible diversity. One has pure black hair and almond-colored skin and by nature is reserved and gentle, another has rich black skin who wears colorful skirts and headscarves and speaks her mind boldly, another freckle-covered skin and dusty brown hair who laughs all the time and loves being around people.

Some people struggle with racism. I think that I have the opposite problem: idolizing people of different ethnicities and criticizing my own culture. But a week and a half into ESL teaching has taught me something. All people have problems. Everyone, of every culture, has a sin nature, and it takes patience to live with all people, no matter where they are from, even if their group-minded, collectivistic culture seems more appealing than my own rugged individualistic culture.

Also, the worldview behind a culture really, truly does affect how people see each other and how they interact. When you see things through a whole different lens, you have to really cooperate to be able to work together, especially if you are learning a third language and culture. I'm not sure that before this summer I would have understood the implications of having a student from Asia and students from Latin America in the same classroom, being taught by an American woman. It's funny, really...sometimes I feel like I'm on display: Here is the example of what an American is like - follow her. I realize that the Asian doesn't want anyone but me telling them what to do. And the Latin American is used to people complying and giving in to each other to keep each other happy. And I see pride written on the Asian's face and irritation on the Hispanic's, and feel discouragement and frustration welling up in my own heart, and then I realize, we're ALL just people who need God's grace.

God, who in His grace is the one who restores, confirms, strengthens, and establishes (1 Pet. 5:10). I love to teach, to help people. But really, only when it's easy. And it's not easy...I think that I forgot that it could be pretty hard. Realistically, helping people IS hard. That's life. You learn to stick with things through thick and thin and give it your all and trust God to be the one who is actually strengthening and enabling you.

I would appreciate prayer for the relationships in my classes, and for wisdom for myself as I try to teach a multi-leveled class in the mornings (ranging from an almost advanced student to one who almost never understands the instructions I give them in class, and all levels in between). So far, I've had three morning classes and have been discouraged all three times after class. But the Lord always gives me grace and cheers me up afterward. I know that it is His class, not mine, so I'm just doing my best...all that He asks of me.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

English class and Walking Meditation

Whoosh! So many new people and experiences...all in two weeks. My ESL classes began this week, of course, so I suppose I should start with them.
I am teaching from 9-11 am and 6-8 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I'm tutoring a lady from 8-9 on Tuesday and another from 2-3 on Thursday. Talk about i-n-t-e-n-s-e! That's five hours a day of speaking the slowest, clearest, most basic English that I can, or at least attempting to do so. I am reminded frequently to do better in all those areas when I see blank stares coming at me from around the table. :) So, I'm pretty exhausted after every session, class or tutoring, but it is good, and I'm learning a lot. I have students from countries in almost every continent!
South Korea
China
South Sudan
Russia
Peru
Brazil
Mexico
I love them all and am excited, and overwhelmed, about all I need to learn about their cultures and worldviews and how to best reach each one of them where they are at. Whoosh. :) It's good.

Tomorrow at 7:15 am I'll be starting my landscaping job part of the summer, too. So that will be an experience in itself. And this weekend I'm coming back to KS for my dear cousin Chad's wedding to his lovely Sara.

So, funny story that I promised in my Facebook status. Thursday morning, I was decently prepared for class, with a nice lesson plan written out. My morning students went at a slower rate than my evening students, just fyi. But then, only one of my evening students showed up for class, so I thought I'd just do some one-on-one work with her farther along in the book. Then, one of my least advanced students arrived, and then a new student arrived, so I had three different students than I was expecting and was kind of needing to work from three places in the book. It was insanity, and by the end I felt like a rotten teacher and cried about it over my lunch. The Lord renewed my heart, though, and I was getting ready to do my lesson plan for the evening, when I got two phone calls that took up a couple hours, which was fine, and they were both great conversations, but it just gave me a later start than I expected. Then I remembered I needed to run to Office Depot to pick up ink for the printer here bc I wanted to print some handouts. "That'll only take me 30 minutes or so," I thought, which would still give me an hour to prepare for my lesson. It was 4:20 at that point. Well, I ended up getting royally LOST and drove around for an hour. My reasoning was so confused...why did I do this, why didn't I plan better, why me? Finally I threw my hands in the air (I was stopped at a stoplight, so it was okay) :) and said, "God, I give up! You take over. You be in control. You give me what I need for my lesson tonight." Within two turns, there was the Office Depot, and I knew where I was again. I made it back in time for class and even got my handouts printed (a miracle in itself - since when does a printer do what you want it to do when you're in a rush??). I didn't prepare at all, except for reading through my teacher's book while they were practicing conversations, but the class went amazingly well. My students understood the grammar concepts very well and we were all relaxed and had a great class. I'm telling you, God is pretty crazy awesome. You'd think that I'd learn to give up sooner, and save myself some pain.

Oh, and Walking Meditation. I just read this article on Yahoo about natural ways to feel happier, and one of them was "Walking Meditation." And I quote: "Stride slowly for 20 minutes sans iPod. Stare at the ground 6 feet ahead and focus on the soles of your shoes lifting and dropping."

Yes, well, I walk and meditate at the same time, aka, pray. I just laughed at the article because I felt intelligent. I could have told them that meditating and walking is extremely refreshing. I've found some good routes around the neighborhood, one that includes a little fishing pond. It is so lovely to be out and about and around people. I can't even bring my music with me because there are so many people to say hello to. :) The Lord and I have lots of good conversations on those walks. Yep.

The end. I'm going to go get some sort of refreshing drink, such as strawberry lemonade, or orange juice, or something, and go to bed. :)

Oh, the beauty

I was reading Psalm 17 this morning and was struck by the contrast between the quality of life of the believer and the unsaved.

From "...men of this world whose portion is in this life"
to
"As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness." (from Psalm 17)

I know God. I have the assurance of beholding His face! I am in a relationship with Him that results in a daily changing to be more and more LIKE Him! What beautiful truths! My portion is not in this world - it is in my Savior - in eternity. That is why all true joys here on earth point back to Him and cause our hearts to overflow in thankfulness, and why all sorrow or disappointment draws our hearts to Him for comfort and release.

"I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things." Is. 45:7

He designs everything for His purposes. He wants to make men realize that HE is the fulfillment of all, and only HE is worthy of worship.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Class begins tomorrow!

Lots of work was accomplished today:
- Two hours of Bible study in Daniel this morning
- Hike to the top of Devils Head Trail, about a 1,000 foot climb, 1.4 mile trail that rewarded the hiker with a gorgeous view in every direction, about 4 hours walking and climbing with new friends
- Two hours preparing my first ever real lesson plan for my own real classes that will begin tomorrow!

Pikes Peak...29 air miles away from where I was standing on top of Devils Head



And somewhere behind me is my Kansas...out there, somewhere...

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Solitude

"Alone, yet not alone am I,
Though in this solitude so drear;
I feel my Saviour always nigh,
He comes the very hour to cheer;
I am with Him, and He with me,
E'en here alone I cannot be."

About 5 years ago I took the Myers-Briggs personality test, and discovered that I am as extroverted as a person can possibly be, which means I have to deal with almost everything externally, talking it out, getting the opinion, or at least the listening ear, of dozens of people. It also means I need to go to people to recharge my batteries, to be sustained, if you will. People, people, people. They have always been my life. So much so, that other than enough quiet time to make me happy every now and then, I dreaded being alone (although, granted, people and stories even filled my mind when I was alone, so I wasn't even alone then, in reality).

Yet, people are not all. God is all. And in Him is the joy that comes through people as well. There have been many times in my life I have asked God to strip me of my idolatry. My idols aren't silver or gold, but living, breathing people who I allow to consume my heart and mind rather than my God. Last summer was one of those times where I begged Him to smash the idols and teach me to truly love people, and not just use them as my worship, my fulfillment, my affirmation.

That prayer opened the door to a long hard year at school in which God stripped away the people I love the most, and allowed me to respond in anger and frustration, and fall flat on my face in trying to cope. He let me wallow in selfishness for just long enough, then took even more away. When I cried to Him, He showed me that what was lacking was a true desire to love sacrificially. Love, for me, doesn't just mean giving everything to everyone - that has been my problem my whole life. Love is sacrifice, like God's love for us. He gave Himself to save me. Himself. Love, for me, means sacrificing, too, and for me that means withholding and waiting and not always giving all I want. It also means being more selfless, and I never realized how sweet and others-centered you can seem on the outside while being very self-centered within.

That realization began a building process where the stripping away process ended, for that time. There is so much joy in knowing the Lord and loving Him. That is one of the most amazing things I've been discovering lately. When you start to learn what sacrifice means in your life, and start practicing it, you find that you really aren't "sacrificing" anything, because if you are willing to let go, God comes in and fills you with more joy than you ever possessed while you clutched at your idols. And, truthfully, God restores what He takes away, often. He is working in me and my relationships and teaching me how to better love those I thought I loved well before. It's a pretty humbling process, once you start realizing how selfish you've been and how much people have been putting up with you.

I've been alone now for almost a week in Colorado, other than a few intermittent connections with people. He's given me a friend, Ruth, and some lovely people to work with in ESL teaching, and He is preparing my class of students for me, and there are a few others I'm looking forward to being with this summer, like Ryan and Amelia and Ceddy, but for once in my life I'm not somewhere because the people are holding me here. I'm here with the Lord and we are facing the summer together. It is beautiful to know Him and be known by Him. When I was out on the mountains last week, I was happier than I've been for a long, long time, and no person was there to make me happy...only my God. We've had the best time together this week. And I look forward to a lot more solitude with Him this summer...learning to love Him and delight in Him even more. He is so wonderful. I'm so thankful for all He is and all He teaches me.

Friday, May 28, 2010

La semana primero

Technically it hasn't been a whole first week in Colorado, but I arrived in Monday and here it is Friday night, so it feels like the first week has finished, even though I have yet to actually experience a Sunday morning at Littleton Bible Chapel.

This evening I had one of the best meals I've ever eaten, possibly. I took ground beef and made burgers with breadcrumbs, milk, Worchestershire sauce, and various seasonings and grilled them along with green and orange peppers. I boiled quinoa, which is a little grain kind of like a cross between millet and rice and is scrumptious. I mixed olive oil with rosemary and other spices and mixed it in with the quinoa. Then I had ice water in a crystal goblet and ate supper out on the deck under a Denver sunset, reading a book. It was so delightful. And yes, I did just use that word. :)

Tuesday I met with Betty, who is in charge of the ESL classes. We went over the curriculum and talked about the classes. I'll be in charge of the intermediate level of English classes at the church! Wow. I didn't expect that much responsibility, but it makes me super excited. Another lady will help me some, at least in the mornings. On Thursday morning we began registration for the classes. That included testing each person who came in so we could evaluate their level. That was good. About 10 ladies and one man came in. It is a challenge, discerning where people should fit into the program. For instance, one lady is very fluent speaking, but since she speaks Arabic as her primary language, her reading and writing are very weak (different alphabet). So do you put her at a level of speaking that is lower than she is? I am hoping that she can be in my class because I'd like to give her special help, perhaps by assigning special reading and writing assignments. That's my favorite part about English anyway. :) Then there are people who come in and want to learn English but are really too advanced for the classes we offer. They know that they are not as comfortable in English as they'd like to be, so they want to keep studying, but it would be useless for them to take classes that are below their level. However, I talked with Betty and she loved my idea. To these people I've been offering to tutor them on the side, outside of our classes. The Lord has given me two women already who want this, and both want to pay me. So I'll be meeting with a lovely older Brazilian woman who has an incredibly thick accent and wants to become a citizen, and a younger South Korean woman who is a dentist in Korea but doesn't work here yet because her English isn't good enough. With the second lady I'll just be meeting to talk for an hour every week so she can practice her English. What an opportunity for good relationships with these ladies. I'm excited.

Today the only place I went was to the grocery store, and the only thing I planned were my meals. And those I planned right before I ate. :) I was able to read, write, pray, watch Little House on the Prairie, walk, talk to friends long distance, play piano, etc. It has been lovely and relaxing. When I finish here I plan to spend a bit of time in Bible study and maybe Greek, and maybe talk to a couple more people on the phone. And tomorrow I'll be helping with more registration for the classes.

People kept telling me that I'm going to have a wonderful summer. So far it HAS been amazing. I laugh thinking of Ms. Brooke in Anne of Avonlea: And what is to be the pill in all of this jam, Ms. Shirley? I have no promise that the days ahead will or won't be as lovely as the past few have been, but I am so thankful for God's grace and provision this week. He's pretty amazing. My heart's longing is to just love these people who He is giving me to teach and do my best with that, and to keep up with my personal goals in reading and praying and studying. If I can look back on this summer and know I have done my best with those responsibilities, I will be thankful. God's grace is sufficient for all I desire and all He gives me to do.

Press on with joy!

PS funny fact...there are more local TV stations here in Spanish than in English. It's funny to me because there aren't a lot more evidences of a large Latino population, other than seeing many Hispanics around at the parks and stores. I guess I mean, it's not like north Broadway in Wichita, which actually reminds me of the Latin countries I've been to. Oh, I love people, and cultural differences. :) I can't wait to learn from all my English students. It's going to be quite a stretching, growing experience.

PS 2 I went hiking on Wednesday and was so ridiculously happy...kind of giddy, you might even say. :) Here are a couple of pictures. On my way back down through the mountains toward town I stopped at an art gallery tucked away in the mountains and a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant where I bought an expresso-flavored ice cream cone. It was happiness in a jar. I can't believe I'm really in Colorado and can DO things like this. :)




Tuesday, May 25, 2010

And so it begins...

Well, after eight very long hours of driving in extremely high winds on Monday, I made it to Littleton, CO. Praise God! I'm staying with a lovely family. We went out for dinner last night (it was their son's birthday), and they took me on the grand tour of Littleton. I got a wonderful 9 hours of sleep last night and spent the day settling in. I thought I'd post some pictures for those (aka Mom and Grandma, especially) who want to see them. :)

Colorado!



Possibly the funniest road sign I've ever seen. It was convincing enough to make me follow the signs all the way to the Point of Interest. :)



The Point of Interest was this...a tower from which you can allegedly see 6 states. I'm not sure I believe the sign...but if it hadn't been so windy, I would have gone up the tower anyway. It was that bizarre. :)



This is my bedroom. Lovely to have my own room all summer. :)





And these are the mountains you can see from an upstairs window in the house where I'm staying.



I found out this afternoon that I will be the teacher in charge of the intermediate classes morning and evening at the church. The family I'm staying with has left for a 17-day vacation starting this afternoon, so I'm kind of housesitting their big home for them while they're gone. It works out perfectly. I feel a little alone now, though...and pretty nervous...and rather excited. And I don't know where to start on anything. But it's 6:03 pm right now, so maybe I'll start with supper. :)