Kansas is far away

It just occured to me that this is the first time I can truly sing along with Bing Crosby...

I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams...

...and really be homesick while singing it.

But I'd rather be there for Thanksgiving.

I close my eyes and see a long table spread with china dishes and steaming bowls of stuffing, potatoes, and yams, baskets overflowing with rolls, a platter of tender white turkey, and clear glasses filled with cinnamony cider and real ice cubes from ice cube trays. I drink in the imaginary fragrance of mums in a vase, woodsmoke coming from the register beneath the table, and the comforting smell of...HOME. I see candles flickering (ah, candles!) and hear loud, boisterous laughter, the clinking of silverware, loud oohs and ahs over the savory dishes, and words of thanks overflowing from grateful hearts of those I love best in the world.

Then I open my eyes and see the white wall of my dorm room, think about a big empty building with 15 students living in it for a week, eating their meals together in the coffee shop downstairs and buried in their books and staring at laptop screens...and am tempted to go to bed crying.

But then I remind myself of the Lord's precious love, and how He provided for me to stay here, and how much joy I will have as I work on the projects He's entrusted me with, and the fellowship I will have with those 15 brothers and sisters, and the fun it will be to visit someone else's home for my favorite holiday...and realize that it will be okay.

But Kansas is still far away...and only in my dreams.